The moment is here. All around you. Squeezing you. Pulling you forward. Dragging you along. Within it is everything. Everything. All contained in the moment. And you are here. Experiencing it. Feeling every part of it. Moving through it. Terrified. Curious. Joyful. Helpless to stop it. Lost. But fully in control. The moment is yours. As it unfolds. Completely yours.
The moment is like a flame. Always burning. Illuminating itself. When the flame is extinguished, the moment will be gone. But that won’t concern you. Because there is nothing beyond it. Nothing to be lost or gained. You and the moment are one.
With you in the moment are your thoughts. Flowing like a river. Washing over you from every direction. Sometimes drowning you. Filling every crack. Seeping into every crevice. Soaking up all empty space. Absorbing. Expanding. Bloating into oblivion.
Although your thoughts have always been with you in the moment, they are not you. They are something other than you.
When you wrestle thoughts, they entangle you. Ensnare you. Latch on to your moment like stubborn passengers. Overstaying their welcome. They must be escorted. Politely. Thank them. Show them gratitude. Perhaps find their truth. But then let them pass. You must let them pass.
When thoughts become passengers, they make a mess. They track in dirt. (Thoughts never wipe their shoes.) Over time, your moment becomes buried. Hidden. You forget it’s there.
This is a shame. Because within the moment also sits your True Self. Your True Self is the root of experience. The center of all. The flame. Free of thought - free of everything. Your True Self is the moment. There’s nothing more or less.
Your True Self is special. Not in a cosmic sense. Not because it is better than other True Selves. But because it is the source of your awareness; the kernel of your being. The nest of beauty, joy, awe, and love. The essence of your light. The purist version of you.
To find your True Self you must uncover the moment. Sweep away the dirt. This is hard. Cleansing feels unnatural. You might think it requires labor. Not really. You clean by watching. You must sit. And watch. Sit. And breathe. Let go. Let everything go. Let your passengers go. Sweep away the dirt. Watch. Then you will uncover the moment. With time, and patience, you will find it. You will find it.
Be patient. Please, be patient. With yourself. With your thoughts. When you try too hard, you will struggle. You will quit. You will despair. You will hide. But the moment never leaves no matter how many times you abandon it. It just waits for you. Even when you find it, it slips away. It wants to stay, but it slips away. Buried once again. But you will continue to find it. Again and again.
The moment is here. Waiting. For you. Now. Don’t wait. Don’t say “one day.” Close your eyes. Breathe. Let go. Follow. Here. Now.
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This post was inspired by recent experiences with meditation and empathogens. If you are interested in meditation, I recently started using a new app that just became available to the public called The Way. It is simpler than most meditation apps and focused on Zen style meditation. If you do not want to pay for an app, there are many free resources on YouTube like this.